New to playing the guitar?


Have you ever done the whole air guitar thing when you were younger and your favourite song came on? Today peope play Guitar Hero. I can honestly say I think I’ve never rally tried it. The real thing is much better. 

My mom and dad always played music in our home. My mom had an organ while growing up, which sounds weird, it’s kind of like a electronic keyboard (she has one of those today) but much better. My dad didn’t play an intrument but he had this beautiful vinyl set and loads of albums.

My dad as a hippie

My love for music came from them. A few years ago I decided I wanted to start playing an instrument. Obviosly guitar was my first choice. It just sounded so beautiful and the talent these people had was amazing. I didn’t really know what I was doing or what I am letting myself in for… today I know.

After thow guitars were bought and never really used, I decided to buy another one a while ago, one where I can just learn the basic skills on. 

I am happy I did. A wise friend once told me that if you play guitar to look cool you will lose interest, but if you do it because you really have a passion for it you will master it. 

It’s not the easiest thing to learn. It takes much time and effort. I wanted to share some tips on what I learned in just a short time on what is the best way to start learning etc. I am not at all yet an expert but every little bit helps. 

  • First and foremost, like I said, if you want to play the guitar do it for the right reasons. 
  • When I bought the my new guitar I had to decide on electric or classic. I chose classic, might not sound that great but for now you shouldn’t worry that much about the sound. You need to learn first. Acoustic is also a great guitar to learn on.
  • When you’ve picked your guitar you might want to buy some extra strings, ones suitable for the type of guitar you’re playing. Learned that the hard way.
  • I bought a book for beginners and I would advise you to do the same, some poeple have this gift that they teach themselves or learn by ear, I don’t have it. Maybe you have, but it’s still better to invest in a book that will teach you the basics.
  • If you’d like you can buy some picks, I got some from friends, I use it, but its best to first learn to play with your fingers so you can learn the strokes and feel the strings better. Your fingers will get sore and your fingertips will start getting hard but that’s just part of playing, don’t over do it at first though.
  • Know what is a peg head etc, in other words, learn the anatomy of the guitar.
  • Tuner!Tuner! The most important tool. You can buy a tuner or you can download one. I downloaded an app called ‘gString’ from Playstore. It works great.

Okay, so now you went to the store, bought yourself an awesome guitar and a few extras and now you are ready to learn. 

  • Welcome to the world of guitar playing or uhm learning, now you need to exercise those fingers. Your fingers will still be dumb. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
  • Some people grow their nails to help with the picking, I chose short nails, and if you are a woman/girl be aware that your nail polish might not last long on your nails especially when strumming.
  • Picking is the best to start out with, I found in difficult but it gets easier.
  • First start with basic chords, there are loads of video’s on Youtube that will help you learn the basic chords. (A/B/ /C/D/E/F/G)

Go to for images and print them out. 

Once you’ve learned them and know how to play them all you can start to learn how to play some easy songs, which you can get in YouTube, which might only use 3 chords or so.

  • Once you feel up to it you can learn the open chords. Which most musicians use.

Here’s a link: Open Chords

  • Once you know your open chords you can go on and learn other chords, there are a tremendous amount of chords but most of the time the open and basic chords is enough to start out with.
  • The best advice I was given, which I didn’t listen to in the beginning was to go on YouTube and learn songs from there. It’s easy and step by step.
  • You can also go on the net and search which song you want to learn how to play and type in the song name and artist followed with ‘chords’.
  • If you are a song writer and confident enough after a while, you can start writing your own songs, but you have to learn how to play without concentrating too hard first. That’s where I am now.
  • Some people might be able to quickly play and sing similtaneously, I am also not one of those, so it’s also a great idea to get someone to help you do both at first. Either go for some lessons or ask a friend who knows how to play and sing.
  • Practise atleast 30 minutes or so a day. Organize some jam sessions with a friend, make it fun and you will never get bored.

That’s what I learned, and I thought it might be worth to know if there’s someone out there who really wants to start playing but don’t know where to start, like I did. Invest in quality musical instruments, in this case a guitar.

The most important thing is that you love playing. If you get frustrated (I think that’s why musicians slam their guitars into the floor) put your guitar down for a while and come back later. I do it for fun and for the love of it, but if you want to take it further then that’s great, there are many ways today that you will be able to showcase your talent. As for me, I might buy a tamborine soon, just for the fun of it!


Much love.


Interview with The Curious Incident.



The Curious Incident makes pop/rock music with a Caribbean Twist that’s got the spice of hot-sauce and the nice of Lemonade. Kyle a.k.a Kairo puts so much passion into his performances and his beauty is conspicuous, Diaz has awesome drumming skills, he will make you get up and dance, also I think I saw him wearing a bow-tie once, real dapper. 


The Curious Incident consist of Kyle Verhagen Roberts (Kairo) & Diaz Diego Tanurrezal, but they also have friends join in now and then. 


☆ How long have you guys been making music?


The latest version of the band is about 3 years old and we are now predominately a duo with occasional help from our friends.


☆ Do you write your own songs? Do you often come up with new songs in the shower?


Haha yeah we do and I do often come up with melodies in the shower, or frequently on the way to the tube in London.


☆ Do you find yourself often changing song lyrics during live sets?


Not on purpose but on occasionally it’s a necessity if I happen to have forgotten the actual lyrics. I have a tendency to mix up the verses in some of the songs which then totally throws me.


☆ Who are your musical influences?


We’re big fans of dancehall and Afro-pop rhythms but listen to a wide range of music and lot’s of upcoming artists to see where they are coming from musically.


☆ How do you handle mistakes during a performance and do you still get nervous performing?


Best bet is to carry on and not acknowledge the mistake. If it’s glaringly obvious then the only way to deal with it is a well-timed joke. Every new experience brings with it some nervousness. It’s all the good kind of excitement though.


☆ How would you define the word success?


Being able to support ourselves doing what we love to do. Having people sing our songs with us is a treat too.


☆ Weirdest gig?


Impromptu acoustic gig at a hard rock biker bar because the power got cut. It was beautiful.


☆ As a band what do each bring to the table? Example positive attributes?


I bring the beauty and Diaz brings the beats.


☆ When things get tough how do you all manage to pick yourselves up?


Music is the best mood-changer. So when things aren’t going our way we tend to work through it by playing more.


☆ If you could go back before TCI were formed, would you still do it all over again?


Absolutely. But I’d avoid some of the pitfalls.


☆ What’s your biggest pet peeve as a band or individualy?


Slap chips.


☆ Can you give some tips to bands who also want make it in the music industry?


It’s a cliche but it’s crucial to keep on keeping on. No one is great the first time they try something.


☆ What’s TCI’s long term goals?


Make a living doing what we love. Pushing hard to have a single chart within the next year.


☆ Are there anything you would like to share? Upcoming shows, tours, a new album etc?


Busy finishing up some music which will culminate in an EP early next year. We’re currently on tour in Holland and just played a festival on a hill in Luxembourg. Follow us on our socials to be part of the ride!


If you want to check out The Curious Incident’s social media and see what all the fuss is about, here are some links; ( Click on the Spotify and YouTube links to go to the website) 




Instagram @the_curiousincident

Twitter – @curiousincident

Facebook – The Curious Incident

Soundcloud –


Upcoming shows;


13-09 – Café de Koe, Amsterdam, NL (Teaser)

14-09 – Café de Bieb, Den Haag, NL, (Teaser)

14-09 – Winkelwagen show Radio Interview and performance, Rotterdam, NL

15-09 – Zuidwest FM Radio Interview

17-09 – AFM Radio Interview and performance, Werkendam, NL

18-09 – RouletteFM Interview and performance, Utrecht, NL

19-09 – Bang and Olufsen private event, London

23-09 – Beats on a Boat, Amsterdam, NL

Check them out and go to a gig or two, they will entertain you!

Much love XO

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My Top 10 favorite posts so far.


I have recently completed my 43rd blog post and decided to share my Top 10 favorite blog posts with you all. It’s difficult to choose as I love them all but some of them stand out a little bit more. So here they are; 

(In each post I’ve inserted the Category in which you will find the post. Please go to the Categories widget and click on the post you want to read, or alternatively you can go to search)


The love of writing. 

This was the very first blog post I did, blogging was still so new to me. I’ve learned so much along the way, I didn’t know what I was letting myself in for. 😉

Category: Lifestyle. 


He’s just not that into you. 

Every woman comes across a situation like this in their lifetime. One of my all time favorite movies is ‘He’s just not that into you’. It sucks to be in a situation like this and sometimes we woman can read too much into the things our crush does and see things that aren’t there, so that’s why I decided to do this post. With some of these tips I hope I can help someone before they make a mistake. That said, people differ, so it’s not all black and white.

Category: Lists/Relationships.




When boredom strikes, a list of to do’s. 


I had so much fun doing this post. We all get times where we are extremely bored and need something to keep us busy. (I like being bored sometimes) I did a fun list and think you will enjoy it too.

Category: Life. 




Pure OCD, like OCD but different. 

I have done a few posts on Mental Health problems. Pure OCD was one I definitly wanted to cover as there is so much stigma towards people with OCD. (All mental problems actually) People are quick to claim that they suffer from OCD not really knowing what it’s like to live with this anxiety disorder.

Category: Lifestyle.
Image from:

Why musicians are so attractive. 

Man have I always had something for musicians. I have my reasons although sometimes I get angry with myself for it. They are unattainable and sometimes aloof but hey, I decided it would be fun to express my view on this subject.

Category: Music.



Sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g.

Kissing is fun, right? Right! I decided to do this post because I’ve learned some kissing tecniques in my life and wanted to share them. It’s fun to explore.

Category: Lists.



What makes you,you?

I decided to do a blog post about myself, share a bit of myself with all my readers. I am unique and I love myself with all my little weird habits etc. I want other people to feel the same.

Category: Lists/Life

Entire life


Interview with The New Divide.

I had a lot of fun with this interview. I think they are the bee’s knees, so I couldn’t wait to share this post. What a bunch of talented guys. Douglas was a darling taking the time while they are travelling in the UK to do this for me. I will definitly try and do more interviews.

Category: Music




Why I think time might be an illusion. 

I’ve always been interested in science and philosophy. I think there are so much about reality we don’t understand and we see things so different than what it really is. Time is one of those things.

Category: Life.




Why we love the 90’s.

In some ways I am an old soul. I still love listening to 60’s up until 90’s music. I do not know why really, I think it’s because music was so real those days. I still like some of the fashion of the 90’s and as far as I understand some of those fashion statements are making a comeback. Naturally I would blog about it.

Category: Lists.



Aaw, the list is done. I hope you all like the list I compiled. Please let me know which ones were your favorite and what you would like me to blog about, I like new fresh ideas.


Much love. XO


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What’s in your handbag?

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What’s in your handbag? 

Us woman always have a ton of stuff in our handbags.  From totally unnecessary things like clothes (which makes it extremely difficult to navigate our way to the important things) to the things that should always be in a lady’s handbag like a cellphone. 

In this blog post I want share, for the fun of it, some of my favourite, unnecessary and very important things I have in my handbag. *Men if you decided to read this, don’t worry, it’s not going to get that personal*.

Here are some of the things I have in my bag. 

Perfume. (Important)

A woman always have to smell great, you never know who you may run into during the day. I don’t think there is someone out there that wants to smell sweaty during the day. You can always put sanitary wipes in your bag too!

Tissues. (Important)

No, not for the tears when a guy makes you cry! Okay, well maybe, but hopefully you won’t need it for that. Make up usually starts running during the day and to have tissues is great for that, wet them a bit with some fresh water and you can wipe your face and start fresh. Also, tissues is great for when you accidently mess something on your blouse or your hands.


Charger. (Important)

As a woman you never want to sit with a phone that’s not fully charged and recharged with money. I carry a small charger with me that you can plug into a laptop. A power bank is a great idea too, I’m planning on purchasing one soon. Always have money on your phone so you can phone someone if need be.

Cream. (Important)

Hands get dirty and if you are like me, washing them regularly is important. If you don’t put some hand cream on right after believe you me your hands will start getting dry. Always moisturize after washing. I’ve also used hand cream as a gel before. Keeps your hair from getting frizzy during the day, just wash in the evening before you walk around with oily hair. (Just to be used as a quick fix)

Medicine. (Not necessary, but great help when you suddenly start feeling ill)

I always have anti nausea pills and headache pills with me. These are probably the two things that might happen out of the blue and you need something to feel better as fast as possible. I always have bandages in my bag as well.

Anti bacterial handwash. (Not necessary but always helps)

I hate it when my hands are dirty. So I make sure I’ve got some handwash on the go. Use this with the tissues and you are ready to go. It’s also great for if you spill something in your car. Love it.

Make up bag. (Important if you are a girly girl)

Okay, so I have to admit I rarely put some new make up on during the day and I usually go without, but it’s always great to have in your bag. Maybe you quickly have to rush somewhere and you need to put some on so you don’t look all pale, then you will be happy there is a bag of goodies in your handbag. Don’t pack too much, lipstick can be used as blusher, eyeshadow can be used as lipstick, lipliner can sometimes be used as eyeliner, you get the drift.


Pens. (Important)

We all know the feeling of having to quickly write something down and there you are with no pen. I have two in my bag.  No fuss when you need to sign something or write a number down. And no nasty pens other people have used.

Pepper spray. (Important)

I purchased some a while ago. Put it in your fron pocket somewhere or where you have easy access. That’s why it’s so important to have your handbag sorted so you don’t have to struggle to find things. A woman must always protect herself. With pepper spray you will feel a bit safer.

Glasses. (Important if you have some vision problems)

if you struggle to see at night or during the day please always have your glasses handy. A pair of sunglasses too. I never go anywhere without my prescription glasses and sunglasses. Sunglasses are cheap and will help a lot.

Cellphone. (Important)

It’s best to always have your mobile phone with you. As stated above, charged and recharged. It’s also great for if you quickly need a calculator or if you are bored and want to play some games.


Cellular pouch. (Totally unnecessary)

So this is something I have in my bag but rarely use. My cellphone alreasy has a cover. It’s just for extra protection in my bag. I usually just put my cellphone in my bag and off I go. Might need to start using it more.

Chips or crisps or cookies.(Totally unnecessary)

I get hungry during the day and when I want to snack I want to snack, you will always find some type of sweet or mint or something edible in my bag. I usually always carry Cola with me too or bottled water. It keeps my energy up.

Books. (Can be important)

I have previously had books in my handbag or a note pad. A note pad takes less space. Again, it’s great for when you have to remember something (you can also put notes on your phone these days, so…) if you get bored or whatever you can do with paper.

Change. (Important)

It’s a good idea to always have change with you, in your hand bag or your car. I help people out where I can and it’s also good for when you don’t want to break some paper. Keep them in a safe place in your bag.

Hair bands or clips. (Not that necessary)

Not that important, but if you decided to wear your hair down in the morning and you start feeling hot during the day, it’s always great to have a hair band or some hair clips with you. Do not put the hair band over your wrist (I never knew this but apprently it’s true) it contains loads of bacteria and can give you a nasty infection. Hair clips can also hold those pages together or be a marker for your books.


So this is what’s in my bag. I hope I gave you all some ideas that might help you out or get rid of some unnecessary stuff that just takes up space. Most important thing, make sure your hand bag is always closed and hold it close to you. 

I would like to hear what you have in your bag. Please do tell. Feel free to comment.


Much love.

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Anxiety and why I chose to embrace it.


Having to cope with anxiety is not the easiest thing to master. In all honesty, my anxiety might drain me sometimes but I guess the way I choose to see things make me sometimes see it as a good thing, however ‘crazy’ that might sound. 

I did a few blog posts on mental health issues about 2 months ago. (See Categories – Life) Since then I have seen numerous posts on Social Media platforms regarding Anxiety Disorders. I decided to do another post, sort of like a follow up, but a bit more personal. 

The way I see it in life you can sit back and let the anxiety overwhelm you or you can accept it as a part of you and try to make the best of a very difficult situation. There are many ways to cope. 

I’ve always been an anxious person. I would get the most weirdest, random thoughts in my mind that would give me extreme anxiety or would make me feel very uncomfortable for a few days. I didn’t really share it with anyonein the beginning, I was too afraid. 

It has been with me since a was about 7 years old. There was really no spesific reason for it. It just was a part of me, people are always quick to say that you should just get over it or ‘relax’. I can’t just relax, it takes days. 

I am not broken, I am not damaged goods, I am just me. This is all I know. Some days are great, others are not so great. Some people would say that you want attention, believe me I don’t want anyone’s pity, I am stronger than you think. 

It became worse when my Pure ocd started. Pure ocd is a part of the anxiety disorders spectrum, meaning it’s an anxiety disorder. 

Having extreme anxiety feels like when you see a tornado coming towards you and you can’t get away. You can just stand there, paralized with fear. You can’t breathe, you feel like crying… but there is no tornado, or anyhing else that gives reason for you to feel that way. You can’t really explain it to someone if they haven’t experienced it themselves. 

But, this isn’t a post on how overwhelming it can be to have this problem, more about how it can also sometimes keep you safe or sometimes makes you see things differently in a good way. It’s your choice how you choose to see things in the end. 

Be positive! You can manage anxiety. Remind yourself it’s just a thought or a feeling that will pass. Take a deep breath, centre yourself, touch something cold or splash some water on your face. Focus on your outside surroundings, smell the air, count to ten. Don’t run, face it. 

I guess in some ways some of my fears has actually kept me safe. Because I have emetophobia I do not drink alcohol at all, which is a good thing. I don’t like alcohol anyway. Because I have a small amount of agoraphobia, I started learning to keep myself busy instead of relying on other people to keep me busy. 

Some fears are totally irrational, like my lyssophobia, others might actually protect you in a sense. Just learn how to deal with them in a positive manner and then they won’t get you down. 

Philophobia is totally unneccesary, infact I think if there’s a guy who can try and love me for who I am and who doesn’t rush me and give me the freedom I need, but still pushes me to get over my fears, I will probably feel less anxious about falling in love and a lot of my other fears will feel less hard to cope with. 

In the end you need to have a strong support structure in your life, a family member or a friend, but they shouldn’t help you run away, however difficult it might be if they face it with you, it will get better.

Try to see what you can learn about yourself along the way, what positive you can take from it. For me personally I try to see the good, like Pure ocd, it is a mental illness but in the same sense I need it, to feel normal because without it I would feel like I might lose control. 

If I don’t feel anxious it makes me anxious. I’ve became immune to it in a sense, I’m used to it. Although it feels terrible, I just accept it and let it pass on it’s own. 

You don’t have to let anxiety get you down. Get some coping strategies (CBT) and try your best to overcome it. On days that you struggle, try and make peace with it and let it run it’s course, think positive thoughts and face whatever you fear or feel anxious about. 

I could either sit down and feel sorry for myself or I could embrace my uniqueness and live with it without feeling down. I chose to embrace it. I hope anyone struggling with this disorder will fight and not run away. Life is amazing and meant to be lived with peace in your heart, live it well, love yourself and love life.

If you have a problem with anxiety please comment and tell me how you choose to deal with it. Remember I am not a registered mental health professional, but I do struggle with this disorder and I fully understand what it feels like.

Much love.

How do you know if a guy is interested in you?


How do you really know if a guy is interested in you? Well, in the end it’s best to not assume and ask flat out, but if you are a bit on the shy side or don’t want to come on too strong, there are some tell tale signs. 

I did a blog post a while ago titled ‘He’s just not that into you’. (Categories – Relationships)

I thought this time it might be fun to give some pointers on how to know when a guy likes you. Sometimes it’s hard to figure out if someone likes you, men don’t usually hide it as well as woman do, (we have to be calm and collected otherwise we will be labeled as too desperate) I guess because they are the ones who persue, but we can still get confused because every guy is different.

It’s easy to get confused when the guy doesn’t actually know what he wants and then there’s the guy’s who play games. So how do you know if the guy is sincere and really interested?

Here are a few things that might show that he is interested:

  • Body language.

If you get together in a social setting does he stand close to you? Hug you? Kiss you on the cheek to after saying hello? Does he take every opportunity he has to stand close to you?

A guy who is interested will almost always be around you. Not in a stalker way, that’s just weird! He will want to stand close to you. Does he look preoccupied with something else every time you all get together? A guy who is interested will give you his undevided attention.

  • Eye contact.

Does he look into your eyes when you speak to him or does he look away? Eye contact is important. It shows his interest in your conversation and in you. Plus if he likes you he will want to see those beautiful eyes of yours.  

  • Touching.

When you spend time together does he ‘accidently’ bump softly into you? Does he use excuses to touch your hand? The old “I think my hands are bigger than yours, let’s see” excuse, and then he puts his hand against yours. 

Does he like to give you hugs? The ones that lasts a bit longer than the normal friendship ones.

  • Does he even want to spend time with you? 

A guy who likes you will want to spend as much time as he can with you. He will phone you or text you to make arrangements to get together. If he call you is it always to just hang out with him and a couple of friends? 

If his friends are always with you guys, then it might be he only sees you as a friend… atleast for now. If he now and then wants to just relax with you, that’s good!

  • He texts or calls just to find out how your day was. 

A guy who is interested will call or text you every now and then. He wants to know what’s going on in your life. If he does this it’s a good sign. But, look out for they ‘Hey buddy’ texts.

If he uses your name (no pet names) and he texts you first and back after every reply it’s great. A guy who isn’t interested will blatently ignore you or will just let the conversation fade out in the hopes that you get the message. If you send a text and he doesn’t reply for two days or so, you obviously aren’t on his list of priorities.

If a guy takes the time to text you back while he is busy with something, it might also be a clear indication he is keen.

  • He does things to get your attention. 

Does he do small things to get your attention? Like picking you a flower before he comes over, even if it’s just one.

Does he take your hair out of your face when he talks to you? Look out for subtle signs. Any cute thing that you would think a guy doesn’t really do for just a friend.

  • When his friends are around. 

Say you are out with him and his friends, does he make fun of you a bit, but quickly let it go? Guys who like a girl might joke around with her. Does he pay more attention to his friends? Does his friends joke around and tell you that he talks about you?

You sometimes get that a friend will tell you if the guy likes you, but that’s not always the case. If a guy’s behaviour towards you change in a bad way when he is with his friends then it’s best to let it go. You don’t want someone whom you are only good enough for in private.

  • Compliments. 

Guys like giving compliments to a girl they are into.  If you run into a guy you like during a day that you may look terrible and he still gives you a compliment then he might seriously like you. 



  • He is mindful of your interest. 

Whether you meet in person or talk over the phone he most likely will bring up something that he knows you are interested in, like your hobbies and what you like doing in your spare time.

Basically he will ask you a lot of questions about yourself and what you like. A guy who might not be interested will only talk about himself and give short answers when asked something.

These are the most obvious signs to recognize if a guy has his eyes on you, but obviously people differ and some guys might even be shy and find other ways to get your attention. 

Much love. X

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Why I choose to abstain.



Why I choose to abstain. 

Abstinance is a personal choice and it’s the best decision I ever made for myself. 

I always valued my body. I am in control of my body. Yes, it was a religious choice but it was also a decision I made for me. It doesn’t matter if you are a man or a woman if you make a choice to abstain stick to it, no matter what anyone else says. 

My decision was made when I saw how perverted some people can be and when I saw how much it can hurt someone who chose to give everything in a relationship but ended up with nothing but heartache. 

It also puts unnecessary pressure on a relationship. Pressure that shouldn’t need to be there. I had a relationship with someone for a few years and we never slept together, and eventhough it didn’t work out I still respect him for never putting that pressure on me. We knew each other fully without having sex.  

It’s a total dissapoinment when a man tells me he thinks sex is a very important part of a relationship. Why do you think that? NO seriously why? If you say it’s because you have needs etc then well, I do not care at all about your needs. Hugs, kisses, holding each other, yes, but I’m not in a relationship with you so you can use my body. 

Like I said earlier, I made the choice because of two reason, the first being my religion and secondly for myself. 


My religious beliefs. 

I have the utmost respect for someone who saves themselves for marriage. It’s admirable. 

When I was a teenager I listened to a cd where a guy explained what happens when you have random hook up’s with someone or you’re having sex with every person you think you’re in love with. 

The guy said that with every person you are in a relationship with or you hook up with, you give a little piece of your heart to that person. If you sleep with someone you give a little bit more. Say you cut out a heart shape out of a piece of paper, with every woman/man you’re with you rip off a piece. 

If you think back on how many people you slept with and rip off that pieces how much paper will you have left? Because that’s how much you have left to give your wife/husband one day. 

Everytime you sleep with someone you give a piece of your heart to that person, a part of your body, eventually you might feel used, empty and dirty. It’s great if you end up marrying the person you slept with, but it’s not to say it will happen and then what? 

God asks us to keep ourselves pure until marriage. Now I’m not being naive here, obviously there might be people who save themselves for marriage and then might end up cheating on their partner or whatever and the other person might then feel that that person saving themselves for marriage was totally useless if they can do that! The thing is that’s the person that cheated’s issue that they have to deal with. Maybe that person didn’t save their virginity as much for God but more out of fear or something. Which might have changed after marriage and having sex. 

I believe God wants to protect us from that empty, used feeling, that feeling I explained (paper) that you feel when you have nothing left to give your life partner because you’ve given so much you now have issues. Nevermind comparing yourself to the previous person your s/o slept with or maybe your s/o comparing you to his/her previous partner. It sucks. 

If you have slept with someone and you feel like you don’t want to do it anymore, God will forgive you and wash you clean. As white as snow. You might then not be a virgin anymore but to God you are. 


My personal choice.

I wanted to cleanse myself. I hated feeling dirty. 

I felt guilty, I felt used, I never felt loved, I never felt special after sleeping with a guy. People who are married and who truly love each other sleep together and might feel that love from being intimate. I hated it and it got boring quickly. I truly don’t get the point of it. I have nothing to show after it… except I feel resentment. 

I knew what I wanted… to stop! 3 years later and I feel amazing. I have my self respect back, now I’m not judging anyone who decides to make it part of their relationship, not at all, if you feel the need to do it then do it, but I just couldn’t take it anymore. 

This is what I do want… it will be cheesy, but I want to meet my future husband, I want to hold his hand, I want to kiss him and I want it to be innocent again. I want him to gain my trust. I want to lie on the bed with him without him wanting anything from me. I want to look at the stars with him, talk for hours, I want to love him unselfishly. I want to respect him. I want him to tell me NO! What guy does that today? 

Our honeymoon night I want to feel new and that I can give him my all. I want to connect with him, feel euphoria and I want him to take my breath away. Like I said, to someone else it might sound extremely corny, but it’s my choice and what I want. 

To people who ask if I miss it? I do not miss it at all. Do I want it? No, not at all. It’s the easiest thing I ever gave up. 

In the end you must be happy with yourself and your choices. If you don’t feel happy, stop. To people who haven’t slept with someone, you miss nothing really. It’s the safest way. 



Much love. 


Interview with The New Divide

Douglas Ziesemer (The New Divide)
By Douglas

The New Divide 

I call myself blessed to know these guys. They are charming, funny, beautiful people who makes people’s hearts warm with their love for music and people everywhere they go. I’ve gotten to know Douglas the last (almost) 2 years and I haven’t met a guy who’s love for God shines more, so I decided to have a interview with him about their band and A Jesus Mission.

Who are The New Divide? 

The New Divide consists of Andy Ziesemer, Douglas Ziesemer, Aaron Olsen, Jonathan Shea, and Alen Garrison.

We are all from different cities in the USA, Andy, Douglas, and Alen are from the Portland Oregon area.

Aaron Olsen is from Denver Colorado originally, but has been living in the Portland area for the last 5 years.

Jonathan is from Nashville Tennessee.

We all have different places we stay when we are in town. Some have places of their own, others live with friends when home.

The New Divide
The New Divide


How long have you all been making music?

We’ve been making music for 10 1/2 years as of August 2016.


Why did you all decide to form a band?

Andy and I (Douglas) started the band with our little brother in 2006. We wanted to start a band because we had a few churches that needed a worship team and so we formed the band. Then we started writing our own music.


Where does your inspiration for your music come from?

We find it easiest to write from what we know. For worship music we write from our own prayers and things that we are going through. For rock and roll stuff, we write from the same most of the time, but it varies. God is always the center of our inspiration. Aaron Olsen is our main song writer, but we all give input.


How does it feel to travel around the world and meet new people all the time?

It is the best job I’ve ever had! We get to travel the globe sharing our faith and we get to meet thousands of new people every year. We get to make new friends in every country that we visit.




How do you guys handle bloopers on stage?

Bloopers? Well we recover as best we can and try to play it off as though it never happened. Unless it is so funny that we run with it and have fun with it! If you take it to serious up on stage then you will get lost in the perfection of the performance. Thus making it un-enjoyable.


You guys are missionaries as well? Explain A Jesus Mission.

Yes we are,  again we get to travel the globe sharing our faith!

A Jesus Mission is a non-profit organization that we made to help us go into all of the world and share the Gospel.

The name A Jesus Mission comes for the fact that in the Bible Jesus’ had a mission, that was to reach the lost and to build up the people who were already saved. So what we do it take that mission as our own, because Jesus commanded this of us. So our mission is “To equip the found and find the lost.” if anything we do fits in this, then we are doing what are called to do.



What can you say to other people who want to become musicians?

Just start doing it! Pick up your instrument of choice, and start learning it to the best of your ability. The world is full of resources that we can tap into in a moment. The internet is filled with people who are better than you at everything, so find them and learn how to become just as good.


What is the coolest thing you guys as a group experienced so far?

Getting to share the Gospel with the entire French Olympic team in Canada. We got asked to play a rock show by someone while we were doing outreach on the streets in Vancouver Canada during the 2010 winter Olympics. We went to their house after the closing ceremonies and played a few rock shows to a bunch of french Olympians and high ups.


Favorite places you all have visited?

One of my (Douglas) favorite places to go is actually South Africa! I have enjoyed everything about the Cape Town area. The landscape, the people, and all of the churches we get to work with.

We all have different areas in the world that we enjoy.

Aaron really likes Japan, and also Mexico.

Alen really likes Germany, mostly because of the amazing Schnitzel they make!

Andy Really loves Paris, France. He has had a heart for the French people since we first went there in 2010.

Jonathan so far has liked England the best




So you say that South Africa is your favorite place to visit, you guys planning to visit again anytime soon?

We do visit SA as much as we can, but we do not currently have anything set in stone, we are working on it though.


What do you all plan for the future?

We all have different plans for the future. As for now, the plan is to keep doing this for as long as we are able to do it.

When we start to get old and can not play rock and roll any longer, then we will look and see what we can do to keep traveling the world and sharing the Gospel with people. That is one of the main reasons that we started A Jesus Mission, so we can continue to share the Gospel throughout the world.


Where can people get ahold of you guys?

The New divide (Website) or A Jesus Mission (Website)

Anyone can get ahold of us on Facebook at: The New Divide on Facebook.

Instagram & Twitter: @thenewdivide.

You can also email us:,,,,

We try our best to answer any questions that may come up!

I want to thank Douglas for taking the time and answering my questions while they are currently busy with a festival in the UK. Your love for what you do is an inspiration. 

Feel free to connect with them and see what they are up to, they really are entertaining, plus if you don’t get to travel much you will get to see a lot of the world through their eyes.


Much love.

What makes you, you?



We all have habits or quirky things we do that makes us unique, I thought it might be fun to share some weird facts about myself. I might not be alone in some of these, that’s cool too.

I sleep with a light and the tv on.


I don’t like sleeping in the dark, at all. I do not like the fact that when I open my eyes during the night I won’t be able to see what’s infront of me. I sleep with the tv on because I always slept with the radio on, guess I never outgrew that. If I hear every little crack or whatever I immediatly jump up to go check it out. I need sleep, so tv on!


I can’t burp. 


Tried a few times. I just can’t get it right. So sometimes I will be in pain for a while because I can’t burp. I will occasionally drink a soda too quickly and a burp comes out, but I can’t do it myself like other people who make themselves burp. Anyway not a great thing to do.


I am ambidextrious


I haven’t been tested or anything. I never even knew the of such a word or that someone can use both hands equally well. I played pool with a friend and he noticed it. I then tested it myself and realized I am pretty good at writing with my left hand too. I am sure that makes me a bit ambidextrious.


I dislike bats… alot.


They look cute, but that’s about it. I have a phobia for bats, they are fast, they walk all weird and they carry dangerous diseases. I love all animals, but I choose to stay away from these ones. I close all my windows when it gets dark, I leave no space for any of these critters to get in my apartment. Yakee…


I eat my apples with peanut butter… yum!


My first reaction when someone offered me an apple with peanut butter was, “no way”. I took a bie and it was so delicious. Try it!


I sing oldies from the 80’s and 90’s to my dog.


Sometimes when my dog ( Albie ) is lying on my pillow looking all sad (which he probablt isn’t) I break out in song. I also change the words and throw his name in somewhere. He doesn’t really find it amusing but I feel better. 🙂


Most of the time I don’t know anything about my entire life and I have no problem with it. 

Entire life

I bet we all feel this way sometimes. People whom you just met always have a tendency to ask your name first and then your occupation. I am not my occupation! I am a blogger yes, but just for fun next time someone asks me what I do for a living I’m going to say I’m breathing. Give people a break.


I don’t like sleeping over at other people’s homes. 


I loved sleepovers when I was younger. I had so many, I don’t think a weekend went by without having one. Now that I’m older I much more prefer to spend time at home where everything doesn’t feel our of place. I will maybe stay over at someone’s home for one night, but it’s going to take some begging!


I spend around 2 hours a day or more just cleaning my home. 


I cannot rest without cleaning. I wake up and I clean. I clean before I go to sleep. The cleaner my apartment is the better. I can give you all some cleaning tips! It’s my ocd that goes haywire, also the reason why I don’t stay over at other people’s houses… I have to clean haha.

There’s many more I didn’t mention here but that’s all I can think of right now. Please share with me the things that makes you a bit different and unique. I’d like to hear it. 

Much love. X

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Why I think time might be an illusion.

Why I think time might be an illusion. 

Since birth, when we entered this reality we experience time. We grow up and get older, we see the seasons change, we experience cause and effect, we wake up in the mornings and rush to get to work etc. 

We are taught that time exists. Almost everyone has a clock in their homes, the current time on their cellphones, microwaves. We need time, it organizes our lives.

Animals do not know the time, the rest of the universe do not run according to our watches/clocks. Humans are the only beings that wear watches and who’s life is ruled by time.

What if we are wrong in thinking that time exists? What am I talking about? Like stated previously humans make watches, people invented the calender for us to be able to get by in daily life, but I don’t think reality cares all that much. As far as I know time changes when you enter into deep space. How can that happen? That means time isn’t constant.

We celebrate our birthdays every year, how do you know your real age? The fact that your body gets older doesn’t automatically mean you are a certain age. Who decided that? When you are born you are already a few months old. Why don’t we then calculate those months aswell?

Change exists, ofcourse, things change all the time. Maybe that’s where time comes in. Can time exist without change? Can change exist without time?

Time moves extremely fast. We are in motion moving forward. For now… we can’t go back . We have the past, present and future, but it moves so fast that we can actually say that we are only really experiencing the ‘now’. A second passing is already in the past. We do live about 80 milleseconds in the past.

You can either see reality as three dimentional or four dimentional where time doesn’t exist. Eventhough time might be an illusion we just can’t help but still be ruled by ‘it’.


I personally don’t think time exist in the way we think it does or there’s more to it than we experience daily.  I never gave it a thought but once I did it changed my perspective on reality.

I’ve always celebrated my birthday, new year’s etc and still do ( because it would be weird to other people if I don’t and I like parties and getting presents and happy birthday messages). But I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that leap year exists and then there’s one extra day and the next year it’s gone.

What happened to the days before the calender was invented? My eyes see the seasons change and I know when it’s night or day and I think that that’s all there is to it.

There is our own inner rhythm, the way we each individually experience time and reality which obviously differs. Maybe it’s more a questions of how fundamental time is?

I’m not saying that I am correct, indeed I do not know everything about the universe. I might be wrong. I choose the gray area, where I might be a little bit of both. *chuckles*

Does time exist without conciousness to observe it? Does our conciousness determine how we experience or perceive time? There’s so many mysterious things about time, scientists have been debating on this subject for years.

I’d like to know your views on time.

Feel free to comment and tell me which one you think is more probable. This post was my own views and thoughts in laymans terms.

Much love.

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